Fishing for everybody


The "Goofiest" Of All Fishing Trips

There are a lot of places in this world whereDisney corporation, gave us some interesting
one can go to find solace, peace andfacts on her background with Disney World.
tranquility while wetting a line forHaving spent the first part of her career
fish.Walt Disney World in Orlando Florida iswith Disney in "guest relations" she had
not the first place that comes tomainly handled "guest" complaints, so the
mind.Nonetheless, right there beneath thefishing guide position she had held for the
shadow of the Magic Kingdom, amongstlast eight years was a welcome relief. She
wide-eyed roller coaster riders, a stoneshad grown up in Louisiana fishing for bass,
throw from Tinkerbell's safety harness,and she was well qualified for obviously one
exists one of the prime Largemouth Bassof the most coveted positions that the 70,000
fishing waters you will find anywhere.Remote?or so folks on the Disney World payroll could
No.Pristine? Hardly.Filled with hungry fathave. Spending your day out on the water away
Largemouth Bass....YES!!I'm not really surefrom the crowds certainly seemed a better
what compelled me to book a two hour Disneytour of duty, than trying to manipulate a pen
Bass fishing adventure.I don't know if I waswith oversized paws inside a large fur coat
curious that possibly a rather large mousein 90 degree weather.But that's just me.We
might show up at the dock with a fishing vestmotored on by the big ferry boat loaded with
full of sponsor patches,and a big wad of chewanother group of guests ready for a d-day
between his cheek and gum. Or, if mechanicallike assault on the Magic Kingdom, and pulled
alligators might raise up out of the water-up to the shallows near an island. I knew I
jaws agape-while I reached down to pick up mywould have to catch my fish early on, before
bass by the lips. Or, if perhaps cannonballsthe "estrogen" effect would occur and I would
might be landing dangerously close to thebe relegated to camera duty.Even though catch
boat as we all sang yo-ho yo- ho aand release is the practice on these waters,
fisherman's life for me....Or maybe, justlive bait is still the bait of choice. Being
maybe, after wandering around the Magica steelhead and salmon fisherman from Oregon
Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Epcot and MGM forI was unfamiliar with the little "shiners"
four days, bouncing off of an endless streamthat they use down south to produce the big
of six year olds with attached parents inbass, but as if on cue, within a minute of
tow,eating space burgers,frontiertossing the little fellar into the drink I
burgers,Yeti burgers, and trying to figurehad my first largemouth on--and it was a nice
out how to amuse myself in line for 60one too!I hoisted a chubby four pound bass
minutes while waiting to have the POOH scaredonto the boat, and as I grabbed him by the
out of me.....maybe, just maybe I thought"largemouth" I made sure he was real, and not
that I might just find a few hours away fromsome animatronic Disney bass that was about
the hustle,bustle and silent freakish staresto break into a chorus of "You ain't nothin'
of Chip and Dale.I must admit, as we werebut a hound dog".Pretty soon Sara, my
making plans for a family trip to the motherdaughter, had her first bass on and mom was
of all amusement parks, I had spotted thisright behind her with her first bass.Dang,
fishing adventure on the Disney website. Asthe estrogen had kicked in early.As promised,
my wife locked us in for five days of "DisneyDisney had already delivered a great family
Magic", I writhed in agony wondering just howexperience and since most of the fish caught
many princesses there must be if it takesby my daughter had been crappie sized fish
five days to see them.My six year oldout of her Grandpa's pond, the look of
daughter was obviously thrilled.Being a cardexcitement that Sara had on her face when she
carrying member of the "I want to go fishinghoisted her first largemouth bass was well
club", I figured this may be my onlyworth the price of admission.We each caught
opportunity to sneak in some fishing on thisseveral more bass with the biggest running
trip. And if you have ever looked at a map ofclose to five pounds.Sara, like any six year
the Orlando area, you will see that this isold, quickly lost interest in the labor
an abundant area of lakes, not to mentioninvolved with catching fish, and turned her
short drives to the coastal areas and oceaninterest to the "shiners" swimming in the
fishing galore. In other words it was killinglive well.I guess you might say she took a
me, knowing how close to great fishing Ishine to 'em!! HA!Anyway, she became are
was--but unless they had trout swimming alongunofficial "shiner" go-fer, and kept the
the waterways of Splash Mountain--I was neverlittle fish in shape, by chasing them around
going to see any of them.So, after the thirdtrying to catch them with her bare
day of posing for pictures with oversizedhands.After a short dry spell, we headed off
rodents, dragons, and perky princesses, Ito other "pristine" waters. This spot
called the Disney central reservation linehappened to be at the ferry landing, where
for "active fun"-as if screaming and doingall the people line up for the d-day
isometric hand grips on Expedition Everest,assault.Under the watchful eyes of hundreds
or ogling Pocahontas is not considered activeof Disney patrons and a couple of Herons and
fun!- and booked a bass fishing trip for theEgrets, we went bass fishing. After landing
next morning. Evidently, the line and waitinganother big chubby in front of the bored line
period for the "largemouth bass ride" is notsitters, they all let out a loud cheer and
nearly as long as the wait for Peter Pan,like the shy fella I am, I hoisted my trophy
because the nice girl (I think it may havelike I had just won Bassmaster's $10,000
been Cinderella) was able to get us a fishingfirst prize on ESPN.Unfortunately, one of our
trip out of the Contemporary Hotel Marinareleased fish didn't fare to well and soon
with no problem.Didn't even have to get awas floating belly up near the ferry boat. A
FastPass!!Best of all, we didn't have to getHeron made a heroic effort to hoist the big
up early. We were scheduled for 10:00fish from the waters, but the two pound fish
a.m.Like all Disney events and productions,was too much and he retired back to his front
great attention to detail and planning isrow seat on shore.Although there is always
done to insure the perfect family experience.going to be a certain amount of attrition,
That is why catch and release is the practiceeven when you are catching and releasing
on Seven Seas lagoon and Bay lake, (the twofish, I think the Disney folks would just as
primary fishing waters at Walt Disney World)soon their bass went belly up away from the
and probably a big reason for the reliablegates to Fantasyland, and we soon had a radio
fishery.AND like all Disney adventures andcall from Holly's boss telling us to move
productions, the perfect family experiencefrom the docks-because it was too
has it's price.$230.00 for two hours ofwindy.Seemed odd since there was only the
fishing!That's a lotta rubber worms.Infaintest of breezes in the air.We still felt
fairness, that is the rental of the boat andbad, and certainly didn't want to be
the boat can handle up to five fishermen(fourresponsible for kids being permanently
if they are wearing mouse ears.) so reallyscarred for life, so we moved.Not that Disney
you technically can get it under fifty bucksdoes anything to ever permanently scar
a person.AND like all Disney events-it waskids!!??It was just as well, because by now
well worth the price to see the excited lookmy wife was using her unfair estrogen
on my daughters face when I told her we wereadvantage to outfish me two to one, which was
gonna catch us " a messa bass".Most of theeven noticed by the ferry boat- line
guides showed up at the marina a few minutesoperator, who made it a point to walk over to
early and looked like they had part timeour boat and tell us of his keen
roles on The Animal Planet. The boats wereobservation.Darn estrogen.By the time we
spotless, fully equipped and ready to go.motored our way back into Bay lake our "two
Since there were three of us and we had ahour cruise" was pretty much at an end. Of
"little one" on board, we were given acourse there was still the matter of settling
pontoon type boat rather than a bass boat.Iup on the bill, and receiving a nice
expected Steve the crocodile hunter to be ourcomplimentary subscription to a bass fishing
guide for the day,but as it turned out ourmagazine---which of course happens to be
guide was to be a lovely lady by the name ofowned by Disney.....As we left the boat and
Holly.Guess Goofy had the day off.After quickheaded back into the perfect world of magical
introductions we were on board our Trackerprincesses, long lines, and the ever present
and on our way.Now, for those of you thatgift shops, I couldn't help but think that I
have read any previous articles I havehad just got off the best ride at Disney
written, you will quickly realize that I wasWorld.Well-except for the Mad Tea
going fishing with three members of theCups....A.J.  Klott
"e-factor" estrogen fishing society. If you
are not familiar with this secret society,Author, writer of fishing humor,and "fly
let's just say that I had about as much of atack" peddler.A.J. writes about the
chance of outfishing these ladies as gettingpeople,characters and modern day events that
a date with Ariel or Snow White.As we motoredsurround the fishing world. His first book is
our way out of the natural waters of Bay lakenow out and being sold out of the back of a
and into the man made Seven Seas lagoon,1976 Opal Cadet.Coming to your town soon.
Holly, a veteran of over twenty years in the



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